"Wie geht es dir?" "How are you feeling?" These questions are probably heard in every culture. The answers, and how mild illness is dealt with, varies between Germany and America.
Mir geht es schlecht - I'm not feeling well. Really. Since Thursday I've been lying in bed with a low fever, racking cough, stuffed up nose and sneezing. A typical February complaint. What do I have? For an American, the answer is probably simple - either a cold or the flu, perhaps with a touch of bronchitis. For a German the answer is not quite so clear cut. The German is aware that real flu (influenza) is characterized by a sudden high fever, chills, and aches and pains - in addition to the typical upper respiratory symptoms. I don't think I have influenza - my fever, at around 100°, just isn't high enough. And I don't have any aches and pains. But a cold? Well, does a cold come with a fever? It might, I guess, in English. But the Germans have a special word for my condition - "grippaler Infekt", which roughly translated means a flu-like infection. Maybe this is what that word our great-grandmothers used - "ague" - means. The ague (if that's what it is) is caused by the same adeno- and rhinoviruses that cause colds. The influenza virus is quite another animal.
In any case I'm going to have to go to the doctor tomorrow due to an oddity of the German labor laws. You can stay home from work sick (or apparently sick) for up to two days without any proof. But on the third day you have to go to the doctor, who will issue the "Krankmeldung" (illness report). I guess this kind of thing still exists in institutions like the U.S. Army. I doubt that the doctor will be able to help me get better more quickly. Oh, he may give me some highly dosed intravenous vitamins and homeopathic medicines. He did that for me several years ago, and do you know what? I don't really believe in that stuff, but it seemed to help. But the real reason for going to the doctor is to get this piece of paper I'll have to fax to my employer afterwards (or bring it with me when I do go back to work).
Another common ailment in Germany that's unknown almost everywhere else is (actually are, since it's plural): "Kreislaufbeschwerden". OK, those of you who live in Germany, stop laughing now! You obviously know what I'm talking about. For those who don't, I'll start with a translation attempt: circulatory complaints. Sounds like something your great-aunt Margaret had, right? Absolute Quatsch, most doctors here will tell you. But many believe in it, and after living here for twenty years I'm starting to believe in it as well. So what is it? You know those days where you get out of bed and immediately notice that somebody replaced your blood with used diesel oil during the night, and your IQ is about 20 points lower, and those lead boots don't help either? Yep, that's it - Kreislaufbeschwerden. Or for those who like it slangy, you can say, "Mein Kreislauf ist im Eimer," which means, "My circulation sucks big time" (poetic license in the translation). According to statistics it's one of the most common illnesses in Germany (I don't know where those statistics are, but I know I've read it somewhere. Since my Kreislauf sucks big time, I'm going to depart from my usual high journalistic standards).
And let's not even start talking about weather sensitivity and the Föhn (warm Alpine winds)! I'll save that for a future post (or not).
Mir geht es schlecht - I'm not feeling well. Really. Since Thursday I've been lying in bed with a low fever, racking cough, stuffed up nose and sneezing. A typical February complaint. What do I have? For an American, the answer is probably simple - either a cold or the flu, perhaps with a touch of bronchitis. For a German the answer is not quite so clear cut. The German is aware that real flu (influenza) is characterized by a sudden high fever, chills, and aches and pains - in addition to the typical upper respiratory symptoms. I don't think I have influenza - my fever, at around 100°, just isn't high enough. And I don't have any aches and pains. But a cold? Well, does a cold come with a fever? It might, I guess, in English. But the Germans have a special word for my condition - "grippaler Infekt", which roughly translated means a flu-like infection. Maybe this is what that word our great-grandmothers used - "ague" - means. The ague (if that's what it is) is caused by the same adeno- and rhinoviruses that cause colds. The influenza virus is quite another animal.
In any case I'm going to have to go to the doctor tomorrow due to an oddity of the German labor laws. You can stay home from work sick (or apparently sick) for up to two days without any proof. But on the third day you have to go to the doctor, who will issue the "Krankmeldung" (illness report). I guess this kind of thing still exists in institutions like the U.S. Army. I doubt that the doctor will be able to help me get better more quickly. Oh, he may give me some highly dosed intravenous vitamins and homeopathic medicines. He did that for me several years ago, and do you know what? I don't really believe in that stuff, but it seemed to help. But the real reason for going to the doctor is to get this piece of paper I'll have to fax to my employer afterwards (or bring it with me when I do go back to work).
Another common ailment in Germany that's unknown almost everywhere else is (actually are, since it's plural): "Kreislaufbeschwerden". OK, those of you who live in Germany, stop laughing now! You obviously know what I'm talking about. For those who don't, I'll start with a translation attempt: circulatory complaints. Sounds like something your great-aunt Margaret had, right? Absolute Quatsch, most doctors here will tell you. But many believe in it, and after living here for twenty years I'm starting to believe in it as well. So what is it? You know those days where you get out of bed and immediately notice that somebody replaced your blood with used diesel oil during the night, and your IQ is about 20 points lower, and those lead boots don't help either? Yep, that's it - Kreislaufbeschwerden. Or for those who like it slangy, you can say, "Mein Kreislauf ist im Eimer," which means, "My circulation sucks big time" (poetic license in the translation). According to statistics it's one of the most common illnesses in Germany (I don't know where those statistics are, but I know I've read it somewhere. Since my Kreislauf sucks big time, I'm going to depart from my usual high journalistic standards).
And let's not even start talking about weather sensitivity and the Föhn (warm Alpine winds)! I'll save that for a future post (or not).
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